i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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