I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
