Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
