The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
