Got a toothbrush?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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