Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
