I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
