Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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