Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
