she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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