ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
