im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
