I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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