Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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