I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
