some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
