My first STD was from a foam party
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
