you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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