We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
