my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
no you cant smoke seaweed
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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