The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
