I have demons in me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
