I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
