Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
