It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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