who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
