whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
