Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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