do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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