I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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