I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
