I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize