We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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