fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
accomplished twins. life is a go
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
