no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
