hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
