What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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