Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think I am morally bankrupt
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
