Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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