Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
