I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You made out with two different species that night
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
