just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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