you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
