We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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