He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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