no, he came in my armpit
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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