so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I would ride that face into the sunset
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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