Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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