i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
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