just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize