...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Randomize
