Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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