watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize