I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
