So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
