he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
