I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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