is wine microwaveable?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
